Today we started our day with a long walk. We went first to the pavement outside Grandma and Grandads house where they stood near their door and talked to us and we wrote them messages and drew pictures then turned them into paper aeroplanes to send to them. ✈️

When we moved on we went more into the countryside for our extended route towards home. I am very aware that the smallest boy is not always engaged with a decent length of walk so I printed off a scavenger hunt each from The Woodland Trust.                   http://treetoolsforschools.org.uk/activitymenu/?cat=scavenger

I’ve used these resources a lot in schools with various children and they always go down well. We chose a Spring scavenger hunt today which was perfect.

One of the things to find was a leaf skeleton. Bear and Quack found this really interesting to look at and learn what had happened to change it from a live leaf to a skeleton leaf.

We also found this hole. The two small boys discussed whether this could be the entrance to the den of Mr Fox. We thought it may be a fox den but we weren’t sure.

What walk is complete without a fun trail to follow? This was very exciting for our boys. The lady who painted it was outside her house cleaning paintbrushes. She said they had worked on it over several days and enjoyed watching people use it.

As usual our walk ended with a run on the big field near home and a game of tig.

The last few days has flown by so I’ll attempt a summary! Quack doesn’t fit in last years sandals or any of the previous years from Bear so we have been trying to work out how to get some new ones.

We are so lucky to have the most fabulous local shoe shop. They are giving guidance on how to measure little feet and bringing shoes for doorstep deliveries locally and posting further afield. The amazing team brought a pair at the size I’d measured, then came back to check them (at a distance on the drive) when they were enormous. Clearly my drawing round feet isn’t ideal! They then went back and found a pair in the smaller size, which Quack loves and came back and waited at the end of the drive while he tried them on. He is thrilled with them and I am so thankful for Stomp!

We have also been thankful for our neighbour who usually does the odd local gig and has done a garden concert this week. Bear particularly enjoyed it and wrote a note about it on the pavement. ❤️

While I enjoyed the music the boys got busy drawing hopscotch on the pavement and playing on it.

We also found this treasure on our doorstep – thank you whoever left it!

We had two very excited boys on Easter Sunday! They love treasure hunts and knew that Easter always includes a hunt. We were very lucky that our Church had uploaded an Easter story hunt online for families, complete with QR code links to YouTube video clips linked to each clue.

Mr Rainbow and I sent the small boys to a bedroom and hid the clues. The recommendation was to hide them in plastic eggs with a small suggestion of something that could be hidden with each message, such as small pebbles, a cross made from twigs etc. I loved this!

Both boys really enjoyed the hunt and they worked well together for at least some of it! It was a good opportunity to talk about the things we would have done more socially at Church and Mesdy Church in less restricted times.

After our story hunt we had a break and lunch. Grandma and Grandad stopped at the end of the drive to drop off some milk and eggs as they were out for a cycle ride and the small boys waved through the window. Grandma and Grandad kindly got the boys magazine subscriptions for Easter/to help keep the grown ups sane, so they showed them through the window too.

In the afternoon it was time for the chocolate egg hunt. Mr Rainbow hid the eggs while I occupied two small boys at the front of the house with any doors leading to the garden firmly closed!

It was the usual mad dash but the boys loved it and enjoyed sharing out their stashes at the end.

Our day was finished off watching Frozen 2 which we hadn’t seen before and Granna had sent for the boys for Easter. Family film nights always go down well with everyone and it was a lovely end to the day.

Happy Easter everyone!

Today we have well and truly made the most of the weather! It has been a beautiful day and we have really enjoyed spending time outside together and attempting to tame our garden.q

Quack has been really interested in our tadpoles so we used the jelly we made yesterday and some raisens and a frog life cycle set from our animal box to make an easy messy play for him. He enjoyed exploring how it looked and felt and comparing the way it looked to the real deal. Sadly the wasps also liked the jelly so the fun was pretty short lived!

Quack was happy to wash himself and the frogs down in the tuff tray filled with water. In our house a tuff tray of water also always leads to our slide becoming a water slide with the help of the hosepipe! Lots of soggy fun was had by all.

While all this was going on Mr Rainbow was clearing some of our garden to allow us to plant some seeds together and encourage some of the wildlife we are less keen on to move on! We had a bit of a spider infestation in some old plants but I’m relieved that the removal of said plants has encouraged them to move on! I don’t do creatures with 8 legs!

While Mr Rainbow dealt with my phobia the small boys and I planted the Little Garden pots that we had collected ourselves and from friends. I’m hoping one of the four of us will prove to have green fingers if we keep trying.

The time outside was clearly very positive for the two small boys – they played together for the remainder of the afternoon. Our climbing frame became a den with the help of some picnic rugs and our castle blocks and knights came out to play.

Life is good when the small people are getting on – long may it continue! 🤞

Today we got up early in order to have a nice, longer walk before many people were up and about. We try to do this a couple of times a week in order to keep the small boys full of stamina and give ourselves chance to really stretch our legs.

We are lucky to live in a rural town and have plenty to enjoy just by walking from home. This walk we really enjoyed walking past the cows and horses at our closest farm.

It was gorgeous to see the bluebells out too – definitely one of my favourite signs of Spring with lots of memories of ‘the woods at the bottom of the garden’ at my grandparents house.

We had an afternoon of plodding through housework, which seems all consuming at times and being at home just seems to create more mess!

Clearly the reason for all the mess is that we are trying to keep life fun for the two small boys, who are used to a far more social life!

More about the jelly tomorrow…

Today we set out to chill. We both had a nap, which was more needed than we realised, the small boys watched TV and films, and the small Quacky one did some sewing.

This was Quack’s first attempt at sewing and I was so impressed! I started a row off and modelled to him and then he just went for it! He is finishing his rainbow to give to Grandma and Grandad. Bear is working on one for Granna too, when we can see her again.

For our walk this afternoon we took a shorter route to have more time to play Mr Rainbow’s new games together but we did find this lovely dinosaur rock on our route. The children were very good about looking but not touching. Thank you to whoever left it out – we enjoyed finding it!

Today started with Mr Rainbow sleeping in until whenever he wanted (Aka when the children became so desperate for him to open birthday presents that they woke him up)! The small boys were very excited about Daddy having a birthday.

We had a chilled out morning testing out the child friendly games he received from the children. Both Gubs and the Labyrinth card game have gone down very well with all of us. I suspect they will entertain us a lot over the coming weeks and months!

We had several doorstep deliveries over the course of the day from people on their way to and from the shops and it was lovely to see people in real life, even if at the end of the drive!

It was a lovely, relaxed day and ended with a surprise online games night with several fabulous friend’s, much to Mr Rainbow’s surprise!

The last couple of days have been very up and down, but decidedly more positive for me. A positive attitude makes a huge difference to me and that is something I’m working hard on.

We have been painting, drawing, rescuing a butterfly, bouncing, and allowing more screen time than I’m generally happy with!

Bear has responded well to this more relaxed pace of life, which is easier for me to accept while it is what would have been our Easter break. I may need to let go of my teacher expectations of a year two child and allow more time for Bear to just be Bear.

Creative time has been good for all of us. It has helped me to feel more successful as a mummy and been fun for the boys. These were birthday cards for Auntie Rachel who we love lots!

Time together has been a careful balancing act of wonderful and torturous as everyone has their own challenges to face. I miss work, I miss my friends, I miss just chatting at the end of the day in the playground. I really miss my mum.

But when this all eases and we are able to socialise again we will be relieved to have been able to stay safe and so, so thankful to those who put themselves at risk for others.

Some people reading this have known me for years and will be aware of the struggles I have had with my mental health. Those who don’t know me, or I have met in more recent years may find it surprising to know that in 2010 I had a serious breakdown.

I ended up off work for most of the year and only able to return to teaching part time in order to ensure my health going forwards. I saw health care professionals at least twice weekly for most of this year and relied heavily on my wonderful husband, parents and in-laws as well as a few close friends to help me through.

Pregnancy with Bear helped me chose to come off medication for a long time and it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I started to wobble and needed to return to taking medication to manage my mental health, as well as using the CBT strategies I have learnt more consistently and being mindful of my mental health.

I guess the reason I am sharing this now is that over the last few days I have had a real blip in how I am coping. I have felt stressed and anxious and been constantly on edge. I’ve felt like an observer rather than a participant in my life. It scares me.

On Thursday, after a day of two small boys pushing me past my limit I ended up in tears while putting them to bed. I was beyond coping and being calm. The boys are struggling too and grumpier, louder and more irritable than usual and it was just too much.

The two small boys are wonderful. When they saw I was crying they hugged me and told me I was the best mummy in the world and they love me. They made me get through bedtime and lifted me.

When hubby had finished his group chat we talked about how I was feeling. He’s been there and seen me at my lowest before and it’s safe to say that any sign of that returning terrifies both of us. We made a plan.

We acknowledged that we are living with something completely alien to us. It is OK to feel upset and overwhelmed at times, or even most of the time. We talked about what each of us could do to make it easier for the other to cope.

– We are going to take turns sometimes with bedtimes so one of us gets some light relief. – We are going to watch something funny on TV to make us laugh in the evenings. – We are going to make sure we each get time alone at some point each day, either to go for a walk, read, have a bath. – We are going to try and be mindful of each other and make an effort for each other.

So, the last few days have been tough. The small boys are beginning to be more settled again and so am I. Over the coming days and weeks I am going to make a conscious effort to practise self care by allowing myself time, and helping Hubby to do the same.

Last night we realised that we were running out of many fresh food items and needed to brave the shops, which we have been avoiding pretty successfully thanks to friends dropping off bread and milk on the doorstep when they have been shopping.

In order for me to go shopping Daddy needed to be able to look after the boys while working, a situation so many of us currently face. What makes this more challenging is that Daddy has dyspraxia. This means he can’t concentrate on too much going on. We decided the boys would be allowed on their tablets for the time I was out to help Daddy.

Shopping was a long job! I queued to get into two different supermarkets, after the first didn’t have pasta that Quack will eat. It took a long time but once in the shopping wasn’t too bad. As I left the second supermarket a message came through from Daddy asking when I would be back. He had a conference call with his full team now!

Daddy was relieved to see me and I was pretty quickly assured (after his call ended) that the serenity that appeared to be standard was not the case for most of the time I was out.

The rest of the day was a mixed bag. We had some good number work and spelling time. But lots of frustration and screaming that I am the worst mummy in the world too.